7 First World Struggles Londoners Face On A Daily Basis
Samuel Johnson once said, 'when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.' Whilst that's true in many respects, Samuel has obviously never queued outside Oxford Circus tube station for an hour after work. Or been stuck behind another tourist whose decided to stand on the left hand side of the escalator. We've summed up 7 struggles that Londoners face on a daily basis we think you'll be able to relate to...
1. Bye salary, hello rent!
Nope, we didn't spill our expensive pints over our payslips (every overpriced drop is sacred, don't you know), they're tears from handing over the majority of our salaries to either:
- Live in a shoebox or
- Pay for our monthly travel card from Zone 9
2. A £7 lunch is "reasonable"
Sure, supermarket chains offer £3 meal deals but if you want to have a decent meal, expect to fork out at least £7 for lunch. You'll even have the bonus of still being hungry afterwards.
3. Be fluent in "Uber, Deliveroo and Tinder"
"Shall we get an Uber back and order a Deliveroo on the way? By the way, how's Tinder going?"
Wait - hang on - what are you blubbering on about? Since we've lived in London, we've mastered the language of city living by updating our daily vocabulary with app names instead. SURE, we could say, "Shall we get a taxi back and order a takeaway on the way? By the way, how's online dating going?" but we're in 2017... not 1999. This doesn't go down well with the 'rents whenever we go back home.
4. Queuing outside tube stations after work
Forget quick car journeys and being home for supper by 7pm - it takes us until then just to get inside our tube stop. Luckily we've got the chorus of "can you move down please?" to keep us company.
5. Wearing your summer and winter wardrobe all at once
It might be raining outside but if you've ever tried to wear a thick coat on the tube then you'll understand when we say the carriages are as hot as the Sahara desert. It's especially bad when you're next to Jim with the BO.
6. The north/south divide
Hopping into your car and driving over to see your pals is easy enough when you're in towns and villages outside of London - but ask any Londoner if they fancy owning a car and you'll get plenty of blank stares in return.
Social lives in London seem to be hugely dependent on whether you live north or south of the river. Yes, friendships matter but ain't nobody gonna travel an hour on the tube to see their friends on the other side so pick very, very carefully. We've seen friendships being sacrificed for a hungover Netflix and Deliveroo afternoon instead.
7. Being judged for your coffee choices
Want a slice of judgement served with your cup of joe? It's 8am and we've somehow managed to drag our pre-caffeinated selves outta bed and into a coffee shop but the fun doesn't stop there. We've barely been able to muster more than a few grunts before our bearded barista's asking for our preference of roasted coffee beans and whether we've tried their Jamaican Blue Mountain Peaberry special blend yet. We've had 3 of them and we still can't tell the difference (but our wallets can).
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